Adolph Hitler, television network programmer, died yesterday of old age. Hitler is best known for his selection of mind numbing television programs watched by millions of American viewers every day. “At first, I was just joking. I could say anything: strand people on a desert island, have a genie in a bottle, a mother who comes back to life as a car. But, then they actually put these ideas on television.” Hitler’s most recent achievement included the invention of reality television.
Prior to his television executive work, Hitler was active in German politics. He unsuccessfully sought world domination. “Eventually, I learned, I can torture millions of people with awful television”, in an interview where he explained his attraction to the television industry.
Hitler is survived by his widow Eva, a respected right wing talk show host.