Future United States Senator is Not Colorful

U.S. Rep. Katherine Harris stated “whenever they made fun of my makeup, it was because the newspapers colorized my photograph.” Thus, a deep, dark secret about this member of Congress has been revealed: Kathleen Harris exists naturally only in black and white. Indeed, she lives in a world where Eisenhower is still President, sex had yet to be invented, and all Democrats are Communists. Rep. Harris is expected to soon announce she is running for the United States Senate. She believes her chances are good, but will know that better once she is finished programming the voting machines.