Thursday, November 30, 2006

The Truth About Michael Richards

The Irrational Injurer wishes to report that we are shocked and ashamed at the behavior of Michael Richards at a recent stand-up gig. Apparently Mr. Richards is a moralistic bigot who dislikes us people who like to have sex in the middle of the day. Upon spotting a representative of the Irrational Injurer in the audience, Mr. Richards demanded the removal of the reporter and publicly voiced his disapproval of the sexual choice our reporter has made in his life. Shouting “he’s a nooner. Throw him out of here”, Mr. Richards demonstrated extreme insensitivity towards people of different sexual orientations. Further, when Mr. Richards mentioned how our reporter likes to be tied up and have a fork shoved up his butt, we believe that it is the personal decision of that person and none of Mr. Richard’s business. Our reporter tried to respond, and while we recognize that Mr. Richards is a far more intelligent man than our reporter, there was no need for him to point out that ‘this is what you get for interrupting a bright man.” We believe there should be a healing, and we request that Mr. Richards meet with our reporter and with a representative of his community, Ron Jeremy. Let the healing begin.