Friday, March 24, 2006

New Religious Fad Hits Hollywood and LAX

A secret document slipped to the Irrational Injurer by an obvious whistleblower-wannabe hading out this information in pamphlet form at the airport explains details of a new religion that has become a Hollywood cult favorite. It is called Shineontology. By studying the lessons of the Prophet Profit and learning the skills of writing checks to the Shineontology Profit Discretionary Spending Fund, Hollywood entertainers achieve higher and higher levels of spiritual achievement. The levels are determined by intense reflection into having checks clear. The top level that can be reached is one where one is able to look into a camera or sing into a microphone and convince millions that you have talent without having any talent whatsoever. It is rumored that new memberships have significantly boomed in recent weeks. A lower level of achievement only works on network programmers and record company executives. And, we suspect, this religion explains a lot in what we’ve being seeing on TV and hearing on the radio lately.