Wednesday, October 05, 2005

President Bush is Drinking Again

George W. Bush is drinking again, according to rumors we overheard on the Metro. Two women, speaking in hushed tones behind their shopping carts, claimed they overheard a very drunk Bush approaching women in a package store with lines like “I want to invade you like I invaded Iraq. Once I’m inside, I stay there for a long time.” His attorney whisked him away before local police could file charges. Bush was overheard telling his attorney “you get them to keep this quiet, and I’ll appoint you to the Supreme Court.”